I’ve spent the last week quite busy seeing friends and going out, which has been good to know I’ve got some amazing support but also keeps my mind off things. However, I realised how important taking time out for myself has been over the last week.
This has been my first day completely to myself for about 10 days. But I’m trying so hard to learn to love myself, that actually spending time alone is really important, more so, than being around others who love me. Yes, it’s so important to know I have that support, and I love them all so much for being there for me, but it shifts the focus away from me loving me, but rather me as a friend to others and how others see me.
Although something good happened. I spoke to a couple of people about the mechanisms that I’ve been using to steady myself during the day and keep myself grounded (see my previous post) and for a moment, I saw myself differently through others. I saw a women who’s trying to deal with her mental illness, but seems to be doing really well at keeping it together. Someone who’s doing good considering the circumstances.
What I normally see is all the bad, whether that’s meant or not, so this was new for me to feel this way. I sort of surprised myself to think in this positive way about myself. Maybe I am doing okay?