Reaching Out

A couple of months ago, as you may know from my previous posts, I dropped down to the depths of a black pit called d-e-p-r-e-s-s-i-o-n. But then I managed to make it out. I found a rope that’s been there the whole time and climbed it.

But as expected, I couldn’t maintain it for very long without help, support or a change in circumstances. Down I dropped again and now I’m back in the pit. I’m just about clinging on slightly above the bottom – but it’s really tough (understatement of the century).

I was urgently referred to the local mental health centre and something sparked inside me; flourishing change. But two months later and I’ve heard nothing. I feel abandoned and forgotten about. I don’t know what happened and I don’t know why I seemed to have completely dropped off the system. But it’s not okay.

I returned to the doctors today to review my situation. I’ve been bumped up to the highest dose of my medication and my own GP, who referred me last time, was pretty damn angry that the mental health team failed to contact me or offer any of the help they suggested at my meeting.

But the point here really is to emphasise how hard it is to reach out for help. I’ve done it soooo many times and each time is like climbing a mountain and re-living all of the shit that got me there. When I was a teen, I went back and forth to several different GPs who didn’t take me seriously or left it all down to me, the extremely depressed teenager with no motivation to do anything, to deal with. I had an amazing GP a year ago, but I couldn’t stay with her because I moved house and by the time I’d finally got to the top of the list for counselling (6 months later) the letter went to my old address meaning I completely missed out. Now, again my GP has been great but the mental health team has completely abandoned me. If this happened this much with something like treatment for heart conditions, there’d be uproar.

Almost all of the political parties in the election promised to put mental health on par with physical, but do they really know what that means? It means a complete rehaul and huge investment into the sector. Plus a massive drive in preventative care.

What’s awful is that I’m almost sure I’m not the only one. The likelihood is that the staff in the centre were so overworked and swamped by patients & bureaucracy whilst also being hugely understaffed and underpaid that I slipped through the cracks.

I’m not saying don’t reach out – it’s the only way. But it shouldn’t be this hard.

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