I’ve been going through a lot lately. I can’t share the full details of the situation, but let’s just accept that even the most mentally stable people would be struggling in my position right now.
Has anyone else managed to keep going even though there’s an endless barrage of bad news? Well, I’ve been doing that for a while but then there’s a point where you can’t cope anymore. One thing will just tip the scales – the straw that breaks the camels back.
I broke. It was the afternoon and I was just gone in an instant. My mind ceased to function – I couldn’t even form sentences properly. I was lying on the bed frozen, physically and mentally. I fell asleep – providing some relief – but when I woke up I was physically gone too. I’ve never truly realised the impact that mental health can have on physical until this point. It’s like my whole body shut down. I was dizzy, nauseated and I could barely stand let alone walk. I had a horrible headache and my eyes could barely open. You know when you’ve got the flu and everything feels…slumpy? It was very similar to that. I couldn’t even eat. In the end, I went to bed, not because I wanted to but because I had no other option.
I couldn’t quite believe what was happening, and I don’t think I could ever understand what it was like if I hadn’t gone through it myself. It was so awful. Thankfully, it passed. That’s the only thought I could hold on to.
I just want to say I’m so sorry to all the people out there who have to experience that too. But you’re not alone.